Fourth Week in February
It feels very important to us that we receive validation. This is not something to change. It is simply information about the way we are. Validation helps us measure our self-worth, which is perpetually a viable topic for examination, if not always a source of doubt.
What are we asking for when we allow ourselves to express this deep need? We are asking for some outside entity to confirm the worth of our behaviors, our decisions, actions, opinions, and presence. On our darkest days it is not just our behavior for which we seek validation it is our existence.
Despite our desire for it, there is no single official entity that can effectively validate our choices and our existence. We have to compose validation from a variety of sources, which is exactly what we already do.
Can we find validation by noting that our life is as significant as any other life form or phenomenon in the universe? Can we find validation in recognizing the commonalities and the differences we have with other people? Can we find validation from those who love us: our teachers, heroes, friends, and family? Can we find validation through laughter and other shared experiences? Can we find validation by giving validation to others?
We must. We do.
We’ll continue to seek validation from these sources over and over again for our entire lives. It is only natural that we continue to assess our self-worth. There is no use in denying the impulse. Instead accept where our sense of validation comes from in order to receive validation more effectively from things and people we trust so that we can more quickly resume being ourselves, which is exactly what we want.